


Spider Silk

by wakyak



Category: Hachimitsu to Clover | Honey and Clover
Genre: Angst, Cuddling, Multi, shuu you're so tragic, those horrible introspective thoughts that bubble up on a lazy weekend morning, yeah ive already written this story before
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-04-07 00:00:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19073347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wakyak/pseuds/wakyak
Summary: Shuuji and Rika wait for Hiroyuki to bring them breakfast.





	Spider Silk

**Author's Note:**

> WOW so Harada actually has a first name huh? i only found out through the ao3 tags
> 
> i wrote this as a little warm-up thing but decided to post anyway
> 
> i will be happy if even one person reads this, so thank you in advance :)

Like spun silk, Rika’s hair binds Shuuji’s fingers. Just so. Not so tightly that the tension pulls on her scalp. Just so. Just so she knows someone is holding her, tying her down like anchor to dingy. Hiroyuki’s warm post at Shuuji’s back has gone cold, and neither of them can remember when he had murmured he’d be back.

The corner of Shuuji’s lips tingle where Hiroyuki had kissed him just before sloughing off their thin, summertime sheet.

“Shuu…”

Through muscle, bone and blood, Shuuji feels the lethargic ebb of his heart inside Rika’s body. An echo, weakened by this tiny constitution. Almost as if she is all but empty inside.

Shuuji knows it can’t be true. By logic, anatomy. The warmth of her body’s metabolism. Inside, Rika is no different from Hiroyuki, from Shuuji.

It's hard to believe, each of her fibres so waif-like and impermanent.

Fingers like delicate offshoots of a willow, ghostly in their pallor, give Shuuji’s hands a calloused, brown character. Sheltering her body within the curl of his own might be uncomfortably reminiscent of a mother protecting her child from danger, and perhaps Shuuji is mimicking an instinct akin to that. Something like that. Perhaps that’s why he’s held her tighter since Hiroyuki crept away. Though Shuuji measures up as a pale substitute.

He can’t help but feel so small, even with this tiny, frail body so tightly ensnared in his arms. Never heavy enough to hold Rika down on his own, never light enough to be swept up with just the breath before a bark of Hiroyuki’s laughter.

Shuuji has never loved anyone as much as he loves Hiroyuki. He’s never yearned for anything like he has for the soft set of Hiroyuki's jaw when he rests his charcoal smudged hand atop Rika’s silky head.

“Shuu, breakfast…”

Shuuji hums quietly, low reverberations shimmering in concentric circles from the crown of Rika’s head. Catching like her voice was in the quiet. She hasn’t spoken in three days, her eyes crinkled at the corners, hair parted at her nape from bowing her head for yes. Yes yes. Yes, Shuu. Yes, Harada-kun. Yes, I can still hear you.

It's like that time Hiroyuki made Shuuji ride on his back while he crawled in circles on the floor. Tears streamed from the corners of Rika's eyes as she watched—she couldn't wipe them away with her hands clasped over her mouth. Why did she try to hard to keep the pretty peals of her laughter inside her? Were they not for Shuuji to hear?

Of course not. Shuuji knows that. Of course he does.

She makes silence so beautiful. How does it sound when her soul shivers with love? 

“Hiro should be back soon,” Shuuji says. Rika whines softly, her voice smothered with down. “Hush,” he breathes, and strands of spider silk slip against his fingers. He can’t bring himself to draw away.

Even without Hiroyuki trapping Shuuji between them, he can't bring himself to cleave this umbilical connection.

The backs of Shuuji’s eyes burn with something repressed. He swallows hard, to force it back to where it should stay, in the pit of his guts. Heavy. Unyielding.

Rika's ribs fan into Shuuji's hand with each of her breaths. A cage for that transient heart of hers. So she won't fade too soon, not until she's been swept up into her calling and thrived in that dainty, swan-necked way she does. Shuuji can almost see it. How vividly her eyes shine when she creates, suddenly unassailable and eternal. And Hiroyuki beside her, always.

Shuuji wonders, if he were beautiful like Rika, talented like Rika, strange like Rika, would Hiroyuki treasure him so absolutely?

Shuuji’s stomach doesn’t churn with fear. He doesn’t clutch Rika to him out of loneliness, or some desperate attempt to smother her, so she will cease her imperceptible entwining with Hiroyuki forever. Before Shuuji can’t recognise one from the other anymore. So it won’t be him and them. Something about the quietness that muffles him is like Rika. Contented, in a way. Resigned, in a way.

Rika and Shuuji doze lightly in the futon. Through the parted curtains, virginal rays of sun form pools they can melt into. Small, shuffling noises barely disturb Shuuji, or the yeast scent of fresh breads. He’s not hungry, he wants for nothing but Hiroyuki, who laughs through his nose at the sight of them, and curls his large body around Shuuji, his fingers stroking Rika’s cheek. In unison, they sigh. Safe. Safe from each other, and everything surrounding.

Trapped between to souls who ache for one another, bread and sleep fill Shuuji’s nose and make him dizzy. With his eyes closed, the phantoms on the inside of his eyelids sway. When Rika and Hiroyuki create something beautiful together later, Shuuji will watch. As always, with Rika’s silence drifting between them like scented smoke, Hiroyuki will also fall silent. After that, all communication will be with glances, a thousand words cusping the curve of an iris. A language Shuuji can’t understand.

**Author's Note:**

> this fic came out almost the exact same as one i wrote for my main fandom oops (unintentional, for real)


End file.
